Art School Hijinks Session 1: Cracka!

First post in awhile, and much has occurred.  Such as: many art school events, trials, moments of self discovery, and personal challenge. Much is better to be done then said, but every once in awhile I will post some events worth noting. The following story involves the swallowing of 6 crackers in 1 minute, vomit, and feminism. If any these topics sound depressing or disgusting to you, they are. So I would immediately exit the post and read over some comedy genius on either retarculosity.blogspot.com or whatsthegossip.blogspot.com or vivalasvegass.blogpost.com or shannonsphere.blogspot.com.

As I'm sitting at the nerdy theatre major table, trying to withstand the taste of my turkey sandwich, my friend Ez( yes, that's his nick name) approaches us. In his hand, is a bag of 2 month old saltines. I  can not explain the thoughts that were going through my mind at that moment, but for some reason I found it was the oddest thing I've seen in awhile. So finally, he explains to us that he comes for a challenge to all that accept. The test is to see whoever can eat 6 crackers in one minute. The rules were simple; you can eat them in any strategic way, but you can not drink any water in between. Now, this may sound like a very simple task, but you will soon find out that it was not. 

One brave soul decided to take up the challenge. This guy is an over-achiever who believes in never giving up. The only thing is, he lacks strategy, and therefore puts all six crackers in his mouth...  Within 10 seconds, he spits out about half the mush, and rushes to the garbage can vomiting. Disgusting. I then decided to follow in his footsteps of stupidity. Only this time, I would do it a little more intelligently. So I decided to go about it with  crackers at a time. The instant the crackers touch your lips, your  mouth quickly dries and becomes numb. My time ran out right when all 6 were in my mouth, and half way chewed up. Disappointing. 

No one else would dare try this deathly maneuver, or so it seemed... That is until one girl begged and begged to try, but was turned down every time. She then took the initiative, and put the first 3 crackers in her mouth, chewing at a steady pace. Before anyone knew it, she was already on her last with 20 seconds left, and then... She finished what was in her mouth within 45 seconds. Delightful! So there you have it folks; 25 boys(including seniors) could not pass this challenge for the ages,but one mere girl overcame the obstacles. 

Creedence Claudia's Revival

So I totally left my Creedence tapes in my stolen car. I then decided to listen to them on Pandora. I like them(got a prob)? I think I once got stoned to them. I don't know, I wouldn't remember anyways...

As The Closing Draws Near

To get you guys all pumped before the second-to last debate this term (hope ya'll now about it), I've decided to display some poll results from the top news stations. I'm  sure you have seen these already, but who cares? (The Republicans probably) It seems our only hope for escape from nuclear disaster, Mr. Barack Obama, is ahead in the poles. For example: he is winning by 6 points on NBC's map, and on CNN's poll, he is up by 8. Now, you may be thinking that this isn't much, but he is winning some otherwise Republican states, and that's pretty crucial. This is the news that Democrats have been waiting to hear, and I strongly believe  that one day people will realize that they made a great choice. McCain's most likely going to have to lie a whole lot  more if he's gonna take this election to hell.

The T-Shirt Cycle

In theatre class, we are required to wear a "uniform" each and every day. The uniform consists of: a white t-shirt, sweat pants, and tennis shoes. If you do not follow this policy strictly, then you will be shot on sight. Well, some students forget to bring their white shirt with them to class. But all hope is not lost. That's where The Brothers T-shirtmazov comes in.

About a week ago, someone left there shirt in the dressing room, and ever since, nobody has claimed it. This triggered an ever-lasting urge from care-less students to wear this smelly, grimy, shirt. It's been two weeks, and it has been worn at leat 5 times. Once your done, you just throw it right back on the floor. The only problem is, while it sits on the floor, it builds up a heavy BO stench which can be smelt from across the room. As a group of males in the class, we have decided that one must take the t-shirt home every 3 days and wash it. I don't look forward to the day that I must wear or wash this digusting clothing item.

The Return Of Catlad

I learned a lesson this past month, and it is that moving is a huge nuisance. I apologize to those who have missed their occasional dose of vitamin Catlad, but I promise you that I will be posting new stuff very often. While Claudia, Brian, and I have been settling in to the new home, there have been some fortunate and unfortunate events occurring.

Fortunate

1. Rock Band 2 came out today.

2. I had a birthday!

3. Art school's been cool.

4. This Wednesday is Barack Obama's rally.

5. I've finished building my bedroom furniture

6. I have a pool in my back yard!

7. New Phone

Unfortunate:

1. I can't afford to buy Rock Band 2. 

2.We got our garden gnome stolen by some punk ass kids.

3. Freshmen get no respect as theatre majors.

4. Sarah Palin is a complete and total moron, and she very well may be president of our country.

5. The Bear's lost last night

6. I'm on restriction of music.

7. John McCain is a liar!

One more thing. For those of you that know, and those of you who don't, The Academie's theatre department  put's on musicals and plays every year. There will be 7 shows this year:

Elephant Man, Concrete Rose, The Diviners, The Whiz, Bang, Bang, You're Dead, You Can't Take It With You, and one other one. 

Tickets range from 10 - 20 dollars. If you are interested in attending many of these shows, I highly  suggest you purchase a season pass for $65 dollars. Let me know if you are interested and I will sell you a pass. Also, if you would like to know which one I'm in, I'll contact you when I find out.

Mrs. Karolyi

If you were alive to watch the olympics in which Nadia Comaneche  stunned the world with an amazing, perfect 10 performance. Then you probably remember Bela Karolyi, her coach. For the past week, Bela has been commentating through the gymnastics segment of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Of course, all he says is that the Americans actually have to try to win. Words of wisdom.  Bela retired a couple years back, but  since has passed on his coaching skills to his wife, Martha. She coaches  the American gymnastics team with a heavy training course, but It was obviously not heavy enough from what we saw yesterday.* It seems the American's could not perform without at least two mistakes. 

Bela Karolyi and Alicia Sacramone blamed the faulty performance on Chinese officials, claiming that they maid Alicia wait awhile between courses. All claims were denied. 

In my opinion, I don't think it's the time lapse. I just think they need to stop texting and face-booking on their iphones between performances. Kinda' breaks their concentration.

*China beat USA by a landslide

The Best Furniture Deal In The History Of Man Kind, Ever

So Brian, Claudia, and I were out all over town today browsing and carousing at modern furniture.  One of my personal favorite hotspots, Design  and Concept happened to maneuver itself onto the list of places we needed to hit up. The owner there, happens to be my homie, so I was pretty stoked about stopping in and saying "whassup". 

After a few hours of doing(or looking at) the weird stuff, we came across what Brian believes is "the ultimate bad-ass chair for designer-like guys" or also known as the Eeams. Supposedly, he's wanted it for quite some time now, and when he discovered that Design and Concept was carrying these; he just had to get a quote. The price came out to be 2 grand a piece, and Brian wanted two. Chuck, the owner, is a nice, sensitive guy who is normally willing to compromise prices, and so Brian decided to try and talk him down. The following is the exact conversation Brian and Chuck exchanged: Chuck: I'll give them to you for 2gs. Brian: What if I buy two? Chuck: About 4,000. The conversation was followed by sheer awkward silence.

Now, I don't know if Chuck knew what Brian was talking about, but I think that was one for the books. Please don't let this discourage you from shopping at Chuck's!!!!

Conclusion: Brian ended up purchasing two Eeams chairs from Lawrence's at 750 each. Oh, and you're going to love Brian and Claudia's new house!!!!!!!