Reality Check-

Ok, so maybe I don't write reviews for the New York Times, but it gives me a sense of gratification to emulate top-notch critics. Maybe it's my longing to feel accepted by adults. Or it could be the need to be loved by everyone in the world. Either way, I wants me some damn attention!

I know what YOU PEOPLE want to hear, so I'm going to give it you. This time, and this time only.

I LIKE TURTLES!