R.I.P. Whacko Jacko

All I have to say is, I loved Michael. I loved everything about him. Even his fondling of children. Because I'm into that too. He was my role model. And the world of pediphiles has lost a great man. Too bad he didn't get to fondle me. I know I usually try to sound smart about everything and act like I know everything, but for now, I mourn for this great hero. Heck, later I will probably bad-talk him, but that's cuz I'm trying to talk like I know everything and look cool for everyone. I'll bore you guys later about anything else I don't have a clue about and talk about it without end, but for now, my thoughts and prayers are with Michael.

Transformers 2 Does Not Roll Out The Goods

Last night, I was given the opportunity to view a midnight showing of Transformers 2: Revenge Of The Fallen here in Chicago. As you can imagine, the place was packed to the bone; a line stretched from around the building. Fortunately, simply because we're awesome (and my uncle owns a comic store that sponsored), we received the V.I.P. treatment and cut to the front.

Now most fans boys would be freaking out about this film, and lots were. However, I never truly felt any sort of anticipation building as I had with the first. Am I not a fan boy? No, I am a pretty huge fanboy, but I cant help but feel that "It's All Been Done Before." The first time around, audiences were excited to see just how well Micheal Bay's presentation of the quick-talking, heartful, and witty robots just was. Bay delivered the goods to both fan boys and moviegoers alike with fast-paced and fluid fun. Additionally, without a doubt, the CGI was brilliant, but one just can't help but think that they are simply just talking robots.

The second installment further proves this. There are only a few additional characters, and most of them are far from well developed. The introductions of The Fallen and The Matrix were pretty satisfying, but it's not enough to say the saga reinvented itself.The script was loopy and contained a lot of plot holes. That's not the worst part about it, though. potential *spoiler*

Both films share almost exactly the same climax, and resolution. Another arid aspect of this over-budget film, is that it;s length drags out an extra hour that could have easily been cut. In fact, I found myself falling asleep during the most action-packed scene of the entire film. Random toilet jokes from the robots such as: "I enjoy feeling your flesh" and " Punk ass Decepticon" do not save this sappy script by Roberto Orci . Instead, it makes the robots less realistic.

Once again, performances from Shia Leboof and Megan "smokin' like a" Fox are far from notable. Fox's sex appeal is without a doubt, fantastic, but does not fool anybody. Her "acting" is cringe worthy. To be honest, I have no idea what this tool Leboof has got going for him either, but it must be enough to earn him an 8-digit contract. Peter Cullen was brilliant as Optimus compared to them.

The one thing 'Transformers 2: Revenge of The Fallen Director' has going for it, is the scintillating cinematography and special effects. There are certain breath-taking moments of farce, and if viewing in Imax, lots of the robots can be seen in "life-like form".

"Transformers 2' is entertaining at most, but lacks the substance needed to be an excellent sequel. Without a doubt, fans of the license will enjoy it, but girlfriends might not.

C+