Saturday, December 13, 2008

Art School Hijinks Session 1: Cracka!

First post in awhile, and much has occurred.  Such as: many art school events, trials, moments of self discovery, and personal challenge. Much is better to be done then said, but every once in awhile I will post some events worth noting. The following story involves the swallowing of 6 crackers in 1 minute, vomit, and feminism. If any these topics sound depressing or disgusting to you, they are. So I would immediately exit the post and read over some comedy genius on either or or or

As I'm sitting at the nerdy theatre major table, trying to withstand the taste of my turkey sandwich, my friend Ez( yes, that's his nick name) approaches us. In his hand, is a bag of 2 month old saltines. I  can not explain the thoughts that were going through my mind at that moment, but for some reason I found it was the oddest thing I've seen in awhile. So finally, he explains to us that he comes for a challenge to all that accept. The test is to see whoever can eat 6 crackers in one minute. The rules were simple; you can eat them in any strategic way, but you can not drink any water in between. Now, this may sound like a very simple task, but you will soon find out that it was not. 

One brave soul decided to take up the challenge. This guy is an over-achiever who believes in never giving up. The only thing is, he lacks strategy, and therefore puts all six crackers in his mouth...  Within 10 seconds, he spits out about half the mush, and rushes to the garbage can vomiting. Disgusting. I then decided to follow in his footsteps of stupidity. Only this time, I would do it a little more intelligently. So I decided to go about it with  crackers at a time. The instant the crackers touch your lips, your  mouth quickly dries and becomes numb. My time ran out right when all 6 were in my mouth, and half way chewed up. Disappointing. 
No one else would dare try this deathly maneuver, or so it seemed... That is until one girl begged and begged to try, but was turned down every time. She then took the initiative, and put the first 3 crackers in her mouth, chewing at a steady pace. Before anyone knew it, she was already on her last with 20 seconds left, and then... She finished what was in her mouth within 45 seconds. Delightful! So there you have it folks; 25 boys(including seniors) could not pass this challenge for the ages,but one mere girl overcame the obstacles. 


Cladeedah said...

Awesome! Chicks rule!

...Welcome back, kid.

Bethany said...

Ooooooh yeah! Let's hear it for the girls. Thanks for the shout out!